Patterns of Protection

Life consists of a string of moments designed to open our eyes to the reality of our direction.  Unfortunately, we aren't always open to the acceptance of this reality.  For that reason, we create patterns of protection and we cling to them from our subconscious.  Do you find yourself repeating certain patterns, same story, just a different day?  Have you ever asked yourself why, and I don't mean, "Why me"...I mean a deep soul-searching why, with intent to divulge (and accept) the truth that surfaces?

Our patterns have a perfectly designed purpose.  Some patterns protect our hearts, some boost a deflated ego and many are born out of sheer necessity.  They were most likely essential to survival on some level, but when do they begin to cross the boundaries of destruction?  Are we capable of seeing our own destructive patterns?  I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if something has become a protective pattern, it's most likely cloaked like a wolf in sheep's clothing.  I'm not suggesting that all patterns are destructive or protective.  We can, after all, partake in healthy patterns too, but I would guess that they were conscious decisions that required self-reflection.

There is a reason most change comes arm and arm with pain. Changing patterns of protection means lifting that protective veil and consciously exposing your vulnerabilities.  This is just plain uncomfortable, isn't it?!  Therein lies the reason for the pattern.  We don't WANT to be uncomfortable.  Resistance is a common response to discomfort.  In fact, we all go out of our way daily to avoid discomfort so it's no surprise that we would protect ourselves with the comfort of familiar habits. Resistance to change stems from discomfort, but ironically, this pattern has the potential to prolong and magnify the associated discomfort in the long run.

If there is one thing autism taught me (there are many actually), it's that there is no room for complacency.  Complacency doesn't change anything.

"Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."  -Wayne Dyer

We have to be willing to sit in our emotions surrounding vulnerability and to let them hang around a little bit, if we want to understand them.  Our vulnerabilities are a gauge and covering them up only removes them from sight.  It's natural to want to push discomfort away, to remove it from awareness, but if we are willing to recognize that pain is the result of attachment, we can begin to not only dissolve the pain, but to transcend the pattern!

Attachment is a funny thing.  Being attached to an outcome means we are projecting into the future.  The future is, and always will be an unknown yet we actively and regularly engage in a pattern of trying to control it.  If we are to be successful at practicing mindfulness, we must remain present.  How can we be in both places at once?  We can't! To choose presence requires acceptance of where we are today.  The good news is that by living your truth today, your future will organically unfold according to your purpose.

My own personal experiences with the growing pains of change have always resulted in the most remarkable shifts in awareness, eye-opening, life-changing acceptance.  The best version of me emerges after a period of deep self reflection.  If you want something in life to change, be willing to open the doors to your heart, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be.

The act of creating or even replacing habits from a conscious (and often vulnerable) state of mind has the incredible outcome of spiritual alignment within yourself.

Let's bridge the gap

Black lives matter...this movement stirred up something in me, something I have felt for along time, yet it has nothing to do with black lives, ironically.  Instead, it has to do with the way in which we choose to react to distinct groups of people.  You can put any label on it.  Sure, black lives DO matter, and so do autistic lives and Muslim lives and police lives and well, I could go on, but you get my point.

My husband and I took our boys to the Tenement Museum in NYC this weekend and the curator of the "Irish Outsiders" tour said something that dug into this deeply rooted feeling I have about all prejudice.  After educating us on how in early America the Irish were persecuted against and treated like trash, even depicted in newspapers as apes with low intelligence, she said that the trend of prejudice still exists today and over time, all you needed to do was replace one race or group with yet another.  It got me thinking about all groups which are judged, it includes anyone who does something different, believes something different, looks different or behaves differently from the accepted societal "norm" and that is subject to personal interpretation.  What creates this divide is misunderstanding, a clear lack of good old human compassion.  It's easy to brush off that which we do not know or personally understand, but if you think about your own life, isn't it possible that there are groups that don't understand something about you too?  It may not be the color of your skin, but what about your political perspective, your religion, it might even just be how you choose to eat or dress or even the car you drive.   Do you ever feel different from another group and thereby judged unfairly?  More importantly, what IS the remedy?

The black lives matter movement was created with good intent.  But all the violence and anger that has been drudged up isn't all that good, is it?  It creates a greater divide.  This anger has merit and it proves that there is still deep pain and healing that must occur for those who express such resentment outwardly.  This isn't just a black lives matter issue though.  For example, I know many many angry autism moms.  We have been dubbed "warrior mothers" because we are fighting a battle, we are on the front lines of a war, so to speak.  I get it, there is a lot to be angry about.  We can focus on what sent our kids down the autism path, we can focus on the government corruption, we can focus on the unfairness of our children's lives....the pain, the hurt, the anger.  Here's the thing though, if we put out anger, what we are going to get in return is more anger.  It's a law of nature, you get what you give!  Let me spin it this way, couldn't we also focus on how these experiences have changed us for the better too?  I for one, am grateful for how much I learned about our health and environment and I feel blessed to have the strength and desire to help others who are seeking help.  There is much to learn from every group, all we have to do is be open to it and to change our own perspectives!  How can anyone expect change, if we aren't willing to be the change we want to see (thank you Gandhi)?

Think about the power a group can exhibit if they pull together to spread the best of themselves and their cultures rather than showing their weaknesses?  What if "black lives" put focus on traditions and qualities of their ancestry that can improve the world?  According to the Black Men's XChange there is an African tradition of accountability that would benefit every. single. person.

"In this African tribe, when someone does something harmful, they take the person to the center of the village where the whole tribe comes and surrounds them.
For two days, they will say to the man all the good things that he has done.
The tribe believes that each human being comes into the world as a good. Each one of us only desiring safety, love, peace and happiness.
But sometimes, in the pursuit of these things, people make mistakes.
The community sees those mistakes as a cry for help.
They unite then to lift him, to reconnect him with his true nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth of which he had been temporarily disconnected: 'I am good'."

Think of the ripple effect something like this would have!  Sharing cultural traditions like this could change the world! Our perspective can be influenced.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."  Wayne Dyer

And likewise, the autism community has so much to offer the world.  I spend much of my time educating others about the things I've learned from autism and PANDAS.  I prefer to see the beauty in what we have learned, but I can't control how it's received by those who cross my path.

My own personal experience of trying to raise my children with this compassion requires rewiring my own thought patterns.  We don't even realize how much we've been indoctrinated by society and it requires really taking a good look at our own behaviors first.  When we experienced bullying with one of our boys, I could have seen my child as a victim and encouraged entitlement by demanding respect from the other child.  Instead, I asked my child to use compassion in his approach, I asked my child to begin the flow of change.  First, we focused on examples of how the other child might have been driven to treat him and then we had to take the reigns and do something to encourage growth in the relationship rather than more anger and pain.  You know what, it worked!  Instantly.  It reinforced this form of problem solving for my child.  I can't tell you how many times I have heard people talk about teaching their kids to fight so they can overpower the bully (I don't even like using the word bully, which carries a negative connotation regarding a child who is acting out of pain and/or fear).  All this does is perpetuate the problems while reducing our sensitivity to human connection!  Of course, I do think children should be empowered to defend themselves in case they ever find themselves in a dangerous interaction with someone, especially someone larger than them, BUT I don't think we should encourage fighting as a response to the obvious expression of pain from someone else.  Ironically, in our case, even before I had heard of the above African tribe and their beautiful display of building up a person in pain, I taught my child to compliment people, to listen to others and to spend time making them feel worthy and cared for...especially if they are behaving like a bully!  Buddha once said that it's those who are angry that need the most love.  Thich Nhat Hanh eloquently explains it like this.  “When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger out of your system, but that's not true,” he said. “When you express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you."

Only understanding and compassion can neutralize anger.

An experience from my childhood shapes this frame of reference for me.  When I was a teen with my own first car, I noticed that my mother wasn't locking her car doors.  I immediately brought her attention to it, asking why she wouldn't want to protect herself from theft.  Her answer was two-fold.  First, why create an obstacle for the thief to create more damage (ie - having to break the window to achieve success) and more importantly, she said, "besides, if they want or need something from my car and they need it so badly that they are forced to steal it, they can have it."  At the time, I didn't even realize how Buddhist this is.

Here are a few examples of short zen stories:  

The Moon Cannot Be Stolen
A Zen Master lived the simplest kind of life in a little hut at the foot of a mountain. One evening, while he was away, a thief sneaked into the hut only to find there was nothing in it to steal. The Zen Master returned and found him. "You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler, "and you should not return empty handed. Please take my clothes as a gift." The thief was bewildered, but he took the clothes and ran away. The Master sat naked, watching the moon. "Poor fellow," he mused, " I wish I could give him this beautiful moon."

and another

The Thief who Became a Disciple 
One evening as Shichiri Kojun was reciting sutras a thief with a sharp sword entered, demanding either money or his life.  Shichiri told him: "Do not disturb me. You can find the money in that drawer." Then he resumed his recitation.  A little while afterwards he stopped and called: "Don't take it all. I need some to pay taxes with tomorrow."  The intruder gathered up most of the money and started to leave. "Thank a person when you receive a gift," Shichiri added. The man thanked him and made off.  A few days afterwards the fellow was caught and confessed, among others, the offense against Shichiri. When Shichiri was called as a witness he said: "This man is no thief, at least as far as I am concerned. I gave him money and he thanked me for it."  After he had finished his prison term, the man went to Shichiri and became his disciple.
 
These examples show us how kindness has more power than anger.

If media could get it right, they have the power to reshape how we see the world.  They go after the hype and drama, because sadly, it gets more ratings!  And ratings equates to dollar signs.

This bears repeating...
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."  Wayne Dyer

VAXXED: from cover-up to catstrophe

My husband and I made the trip out to New York City to see this highly controversial documentary this weekend.  Even though I already knew the details of what was being divulged in this movie, I wanted to see how it was going to be portrayed.  As we know, journalists have an uncanny knack for spinning a story to meet their own agendas, so I wanted to know, was this documentary going to provide the proper transparency this topic demands? 

I've been asked by many what my review of the movie is.  I really needed to process my own personal accumulation of emotions about it first, before I could even begin to think more about the big picture.  Not that I didn't already know how the information in this movie impacts the nation, I have had those opinions for over a year (since Dr. William Thompson came forward publicly), but when you sit through the movie, it forces you to take inventory of your own baggage associated with it.  I had to allow the dust to settle in my brain before I could contemplate a broader opinion of the movie itself and how I would like my perspective to impact others.  I am, by no means, done processing the implication this movie has for the greater good, but I am ready to share my interpretation of it.  And frankly, there is no better review for a movie like this, then your own, so please go see it, if it is an option.

I first want to shout out a big thanks (and hugs) to the producer Del Bigree, Andrew Wakefield and Polly Tommey for taking on this mammoth of a project!  They have gone where no man has gone.  They are taking on Big Pharma without an ounce of fear!  Del Bigtree has repeatedly asked where the reporters are, why aren't they covering this story?  The answer to that question just confirms what we already knew, that Big Pharma has a noose around the necks of many people in these positions.

As much news coverage as there has been regarding the Tribeca Film Festival pulling VAXXED from their line-up, still there seems to be a media blackout on what is actually IN the film.  Journalists are labeling this film an anti-vaccine film without actually seeing it.

Even though I knew the basis of the story that would unfold on the big screen, it was harder than I anticipated to stomach the details as they were being shared by these fellow parents who know the horrible pain of vaccine damage.  They poured their hearts out for us to learn from and I couldn't hold back the tears, my body heat rose and I shook in my seat as I recounted the emotions we had in common.  All of us with vaccine damaged kids know that feeling of being invisible.  We know, without a doubt, what happened to our kids.  We know when our children sneeze, when they don't feel well, and we know when an incident causes them to suddenly regress.  Yet we are invisible to the doctors, we are invisible even to some of our friends and family.  We are left alone in the dark abyss of researching what happened to our children and how we can help them live the best lives they can, given such crappy circumstances.  This is when we begin to shine though.  Suddenly we separate ourselves from the crowd and we excel at something mothers have been known to do for decades, we develop solutions.  Even if we are totally alone in this journey, we continue to dredge our paths and do you know what happens when these numbers climb?  More and more parents connect, they share their (very similar) stories, they get louder and and louder and eventually they demand change.  And change is exactly what we need right now.

If you are not already familiar with the premise of the movie, I would like to state, first and foremost, that this is not an anti-vaccine film.  It is a documentary dedicated to information transparency and it is attempting to educate the masses about corruption in the CDC.  Learning about the corruption provides you with an ability to empower yourself going forward.  Remove thoughts like, "They wouldn't do that to us!!" or "Why wouldn't it be all over the news, if it were true?".  Start with a blank slate and allow yourself the opportunity to view this movie from a neutral state.  You will be making educated decisions about your child's healthcare.  If parents decide to protect their child by not vaccinating him or her, it is still not an anti-vaccine movie. 

So what IS this movie about?
Quite simply, VAXXED is "An investigation into how the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), the government agency charged with protecting the health of American citizens, destroyed data on their 2004 study that showed a link between the MMR vaccine and autism."

In my earlier blog from 2014 "Vaccine Safety Conundrum",  I shared the CDC Whitle-blower timeline of events with multiple links to valid sources of information.  One of these links was to Dr. William Thompson's Whistle-blower Attorney's  website, where Dr. Thompson himself responded to the outcry of requests for more information with a press release.  You can either click on the link above to see the letter on MorganVerkamp LLC's website directly or you can read it below:
__________________________________________________________________________
Statement of William W. Thompson, Ph.D., Regarding the 2004 Article Examining the Possibility of a Relationship Between MMR Vaccine and Autism

August 27, 2014/in Press/
My name is William Thompson.  I am a Senior Scientist with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, where I have worked since 1998.

I regret that my coauthors and I omitted statistically significant information  in our 2004 article published in the journal Pediatrics. The omitted data suggested that African American males who received the MMR vaccine before age 36 months were at increased  risk for autism. Decisions were made regarding which findings to report after the data were collected, and I believe that the final study protocol was not followed.

I want to be absolutely clear that I believe vaccines have saved and continue  to save countless lives.  I would never suggest that any parent avoid vaccinating children of any race. Vaccines prevent serious diseases, and the risks associated  with their administration are vastly outweighed  by their individual and societal benefits.

My concern has been the decision to omit relevant findings in a particular study for a particular sub­ group for a particular  vaccine. There have always been recognized risks for vaccination and I believe it is the responsibility of the CDC to properly  convey the risks associated  with receipt of those vaccines.

I have had many discussions  with Dr. Brian Hooker over the last 10 months regarding studies  the CDC has carried out regarding vaccines and neurodevelopmental outcomes including autism spectrum disorders. I share his beliefthat CDC decision-making and analyses should be transparent.  I was not, however, aware that he was recording any of our conversations, nor was I given any choice regarding whether  my name would be made public or my voice would be put on the Internet.

I am grateful for the many supportive e-mails that I have received over the last several days.

I will not be answering  further questions at this time.  I am providing information  to Congressman William Posey, and of course will continue to cooperate with Congress.  I have also offered to assist with reanalysis of the study data or development of further  studies.  For the time being, however, I am focused on my job and my family.

Reasonable scientists  can and do differ in their interpretation of information. I will do everything I can to assist any unbiased and objective scientists inside or outside the CDC to analyze data collected by the CDC or other public organizations for the purpose  of understanding whether  vaccines are associated with an increased  risk of autism.  There are still more questions than answers, and I appreciate that so many families are looking for answers  from the scientific community.

My colleagues and supervisors at the CDC have been entirely professional since this matter  became public. In fact, I received a performance-based award after this story came out.  I have experienced  no pressure  or retaliation and certainly was not escorted  from the building, as some have stated.

Dr. Thompson is represented by Frederick M. Morgan,Jr.,  Morgan Verkamp, LLC, Cincinnati, Ohio, www.morganverkamp.com.
_________________________________________________________________________
The movie VAXXED is in direct response to this event and I know that I personally am grateful for reporters like Del Bigtree who is willing to put his career on the line to review the evidence, interview Dr. Thompson and others so that parents are better informed.

Here are a few of the major points that can be taken away from the movie:

It is not an anti-vaccine movie
I know I said this earlier, but I want to say this again, because I think this movie is losing viewers based on the preconceived notion that it is encouraging families not to vaccinate their children.  This movie is pro-transparency.  This is a movie documenting a very specific case of corruption involving the very study that most doctors refer to when they tell their patients that "it has been proven that the MMR vaccine does NOT cause autism".  The data that was manipulated paints a very different picture which does in fact connect autism and the MMR vaccine, particularly so when given between the ages of 12 and 18 months.  The data also indicates that  black boys are at a significantly higher risk than the general population for some reason.  The data that was omitted results in an increased risk of autism at well over 250% higher when this vaccine is introduced between 12 and 18 months of age.  Guess when my son received this and many other vaccines?  Just before 12 months of age.

Dr. Andrew Wakefield's paper has been approved for reinstatement by a court of law
Let me repeat that again, so it sinks in....Dr. Wakefield's paper, which was originally withdrawn from the Lancet, has been approved for reinstatement by a court of law.  It is NOT considered a fraudulent paper.  I have heard SO many comments from people disputing Dr. Wakefield's validity, one of the most common being that his license was revoked and his paper pulled from the Lancet.  What people aren't aware of is that he went to court and won!  It was determined that his paper was to be reinstated, yet that has not yet happened, because again, the powers-that-be have a firm grip on this information.  It is also a misconception that Dr. Wakefield's paper stated that there was a definitive connection between the MMR and autism.  It did no such thing.  The information he discovered in his research did, however, warrant the need for more research on this topic.  His written suggestion was to merely separate the MMR into three individual vaccinations rather than giving them all together, which brings me to the next topic.

The MMR vaccination isn't available as three separated injections
Dr. Wakefield's research suggested that by separating the measles, mumps and rubella as individual vaccinations, the rate of autism didn't appear to increase like it does with the combination MMR.  The reason you can't obtain these vaccinations individually is because the patent only covers the combined vaccination.

Doctors are being lied to also
In defense of all the doctors who are getting a bad rap for giving dangerous advice and for believing in the vaccinations they administer, let's remember they are being lied to just like us!  When two prominent doctors are given the documents to review for themselves, without interference or outside interpretation, they are astounded and both plan to change the way they practice as a result.  Dr. Sears was clearly shaken when he said that he has been advising patients based on a lie for the past ten years!  The other doctor, Rachel Ross, an OB/gyn said that she would not be having her own child vaccinated with the MMR and when patients present her with the inevitable question, "Does the MMR cause autism?" she would be obligated to tell them the truth.  Like us, doctors are trusting the data they have been fed by the CDC.  Without reason to question otherwise, they will continue to trust the CDC.  We must take the time to educate the doctors whenever possible.

The vaccine injury compensation fund is paid for with YOUR tax money
I don't know if you are already aware of this little detail, but vaccine manufacturers cannot be sued by parents of vaccine-injured children, instead they are protected from lawsuits by a court ruling in February of 2011 which put the final nail in the coffin when the Vaccine Injury Compensation Act of 1986 was updated to include "design defects".   When families win a case of vaccine damage they are paid via the Vaccine Injury Compensation Fund, and it is YOUR tax money that is paying into this fund which has paid out over a billion dollars to date.  So the vaccine manufacturers make $30+ billion annually per vaccine/drug, yet they have no consequences for producing dangerous vaccinations.  Vaccinations are often "fast-tracked", meaning they don't go through the rigorous testing that drugs are required to go through, then YOU pay for THEIR consequences, not them.  The most basic required study all manufactured drugs must go through is the double-blind placebo study where one group takes the drug and another does not.  This study has not been conducted on any vaccine yet.  Where is the incentive to make safe products?? 

A fraudulent study has been used to deny court cases
So now we have evidence that a fraudulent study was used to deny vaccine court cases.  What are the odds they want this information made public?  What are the implications of cases that were lost based on a study that was manipulated to omit data that might have actually have helped win the case?

The CDC actually had a meeting at which they all trashed the data connecting autism with the MMR.  Without the material that was saved by Dr. William Thompson, there would be no existing data what-so-ever! In the movie, they share the documentation with hand-written notes by Colleen Boyle (Director of the CDC at the time, now a Merck employee!) showing exactly what data she instructed  to be manipulated in the study and then ultimately confirming the trash can meeting!

Congressmen have stood before Congress, for all to see, requesting and even demanding an investigation of the CDC for it's fraudulent study.  Senator Posey of Florida asked Congress to request a subpoena of Dr. Thompson (which Dr. Thompson wants to happen, since it would be illegal for him to speak out about the studies otherwise) and still a year later, nothing has happened! 

So the question on everyone's tongue is, "Should I stop vaccinating my child?"  I can't answer that question for you, but if you are familiar with my story and my blogs, you probably already know that we have one vaccinated child (who was vaccine damaged, resulting in autism and PANDAS) and a younger child who is unvaccinated as a result of our experience, and he is healthy.  You MUST educate yourself BEFORE using any medication on your child.  All medication comes with risks, vaccinations are a form of medication.

But I think there are more questions we need to be asking, such as What next?  What do we do with this information?  And  how exactly did this happen in the first place, anyway?  We must be the change we want to see in this world, and that change starts with the right questions.

Sadly, this is not an isolated incident.  There are other vaccine safety whistle-blowers out there who have come forward, there is even a whistle-blower lawsuit currently going on involving two Merck scientists who claim that the MMR success rate is severely misrepresented, aka - falsified data, again.  So how DID this dishonesty find it's way into our nation's fabric?  My response to that is complacency.  Yep, citizen complacency.  We have developed a system of trust for authority-figures like doctors, scientists, politicians and even large-company owners.  We have taken our safety for granted, ASSuming that these authority-figures always have our best interest in mind.  This is called blind faith and blind faith has no place in our lives when it involves our children's health safety.  As the parents, we are responsible for our children's health and it is up to us to maintain their safety.  How can we effectively manage our children's health, if we aren't questioning the safety of what we put into them, from food to medications?

It's easy for us to sit on our comfy couches and pray for our war heroes fighting wars of freedom on International grounds, fighting for our freedom and safety which we are failing to use.  But this, this is a war happening on our very own soil and unfortunately it is invisible to those who hold blind-faith in our government and medical establishments.  By assuming we are safe, because we believe those in high powered positions are fighting the battle for us, we are losing ground, because sometimes it's these very people who are taking advantage of that power.  How do they do that?  WE LET THEM!  When political positions were originally established, it was decided that they should not be entitled to holding these positions for life.  Political representatives volunteered their time, outside of their day to day careers.  This was a side job.  "Career politicians" are dangerous to the future of our nation, because they can be easily bought.  Their livelihood, their career and their bank account depends on their success.  It is important to get involved, before we lose all freedom on the topic of drugs and vaccination.  The government is stepping over boundaries by taking away our rights to vaccine exemptions and we are allowing it by doing nothing!!  Vaccines are drugs and no drugs come without consequences, which means we must retain the right to choose them or not.  When there is proof of children being harmed in great numbers, with thousands upon thousands of parents screaming that their child regressed after a vaccination, this is a conversation we must have no matter how uncomfortable.

Please contact your representatives and request a subpoena of Dr. William Thompson!!

The CDC openly admitted to changing their study, as well as admitting to an increase in autism in a certain age group of vaccinated children, yet they down play the results.  For those who believe this whistle-blower story is a fake, see the CDC's website for their response to this event, confirming it is not a fake at all.  Frankly, I would be concerned that they are capable of these manipulations and if they did it with this study, why wouldn't they do it with others?  When someone lies to you, naturally your trust in them diminishes.  Well, the CDC lied to you for over ten years and children have been sacrificed.

If you would like to read pages of viewer reviews of this movie, you can find them here.

The habit of fear

"The habit of fear" is actually the name of a chapter in the book I am currently writing, but I wanted to expand beyond how it has effected our lives personally, because as part of my own awakening I have begun to see how deeply rooted in fear, we are as a society.  Our choices, our likes and dislikes, the way we parent and educate our children, how we relate in our relationships, and especially our medical choices, are all driven from a subconscious place of fear. 

Even those who consider themselves "healthy" in a physical sense are conditioned to make decisions out of fear.  Why do we do this?  Our upbringing, the subtle expectations of society, instincts, and ultimately our own willingness to accept this powerfully moving emotion.  If we do "this", then "that" will happen....Pavlov's Classical Conditioning at it's finest.  It's innate.  This form of learning has actually been so accurately labeled by Pavlov as "psychic conditioning".  Perfect description!

Let's get technical: It takes the repeated pairing of an unconditioned stimulus, a neutral stimulus, and an unconditioned response, to create a new conditioned response.  One exposure to a unique pairing of stimulus would only have this outcome, if the stimulus itself was very traumatizing, but the usual events are typically experienced slowly over time, with repeated exposures, creating deeply rooted subconscious responses.  A traumatic, one-time event that might have this effect would be a child who is walking along the street happily eating an ice cream cone.  A dog attacks the little girl, and the extremely traumatizing event paralyzes her mind and makes hard and fast connections between the fear she experiences and the ice cream cone, the dog and/or the peaceful walk alone.  She might fear dogs forever on a conscious level, but the subconscious response might be a new allergy to dairy and/or sugar, perhaps even to being alone and walking.  In fact, she could even develop an allergy to a flower nearby, if she was aware of it's odor at that very moment...it all depends on the connections her mind chooses to make in that split second and this will ultimately depend on the combination of her genetic breakdown and constitutional profile.  Three different people who experience this exact same thing are likely to have completely different outcomes, regardless, the trauma suffered has created a new instinctual response in that child.  This would be the less common scenario though.

So most of you know the famous Pavlov dog experiment where the pairing of meat powder and a bell encourages enzymatic salivation in the dog, then eventually the repeated exposure to this pairing creates a new response in the dog...enzymatic release and salivation just when the bell is rung.  If we apply this form of conditioning to an everyday occurrence as simple as learning to walk, we see the undertow of fear in our choices, which then become a new, conditioned response.  We take a step and fall which combines a few unconditioned stimulus and responses, the result is a healthy bout of fear  (and probably adrenaline) which naturally drives our need to do what it takes to remain standing next time.  At minimum, it invokes a change in what we plan to do next time, subconsciously.  Fear is a natural instinct, it's protective and it motivates our trajectory in many situations.  But when did it overtake our executive functioning to this point where we are surpassing good decisions and using fear to make poor decisions?  How did we go from using instincts to protect us, to this place of chronic fear-riddled inappropriate "instincts"?  As an innate instinct, this was something that was intended to protect or save us from danger (the green moldy berry tastes yucky, aka - it's toxic, don't eat it), yet now it is going too far and actually causing danger in certain situations.

Is there a natural law named after this phenomenon?  Where else is it applied?  Here is a thought process we see often, "If I don't vaccinate my child (all the while ignoring the obviously dangerous and harmful ingredients), s/he may contract the dreaded disease that the vaccine is intended to prevent and s/he will die".  We are making connections based on a combination of false information and blind trust, creating fear-connections that drive our choices, which are then harming our children. The initial intention was good, but somewhere along the way, it all got twisted up and demented.  Now we are accepting certain childhood illnesses as "normal", because they are overly common.  Since when did common = normal?  We've allowed conditioning to change our instinctual perception.  This is an evolution process that is occurring without our conscious awareness.  It is destructive to our population.  This wasn't prominent in the very first generation of vaccinated people, or second, or even third, although the incidents of dis-ease were growing in number over the years and the ultimate result are the canaries in the coalmine...it is epigenetically shifting the population, and the result is that our children are dis-ease stricken earlier and earlier with illnesses that were once only targeting the elderly.  In fact, autism has been closely compared to illnesses of the elderly like Alzheimers.  Don't let the different labels fool you, all you have to do is look up the symptoms.  Then, if you look up the symptoms of toxicity from heavy metals, the similarities run deep in all three.  The common denominator?  An overburden of toxins.  How did we let this happen, if we are following our intuition?  Well, we aren't following our intuition.  You know that first pang of fear you feel when you place your innocent child on the doctor's table and hold him or her down so they can inject them with a slurry of dangerous ingredients (for the sake of the greater good), you instantly brush off that fear as sadness for the pin-prick pain your child will feel, because we are being consciously conditioned to believe that our fear is unwarranted, and that we must do this for our child's safety...Your fear is VERY warranted and should you actually respond appropriately to that fear, you might save your child, or your child's child from some form of learning disorder, allergies, eczema, cancer and/or spectrum disorder. 

So clearly, vaccination is just one example of the larger picture, one that is very near and dear to my heart, but you can replace this with so many scenarios these days.  

There are a few problems with this new conditioning which we are falling prey to.

The obvious evolutionary shift can be stopped, all it takes is awareness of the mistaken process combined with a willingness to make change in our daily routines.  Blindly accepting anyone else's truth as your own has dire consequences, as you can see.

And what about the vibratory place fear ties us into? If you have been following my blog, I have spoken in other entries about the vibrational frequency of emotions.  Fear is very low, and saturating yourself in low frequencies on a regular basis will impact your core vibration, shifting it from healthy, higher vibrations, to low and unhealthy vibrations.  Our bodies are designed to handle the occasional imbalance, but when the lower vibrations become more prominent in our lives (from emotions, toxins, environmental onslaughts, poor quality foods, and so forth) our bodies begin to lose the battle.  How long can you swim upstream without tiring and giving up?  How long can you continue to fill the bucket before it overflows on you?  The law of attraction will respond to this chronic frequency and you will find yourself attracting lower vibration events that result in disharmony in your life.  Since our emotional and spiritual selves drive our physical selves, it is already evident where this evolution has taken us.  When you have some time, check out the research on happier people resulting in healthier lives.  Happy = very high vibration.  Are we truly happy when we are stuffing our instincts and going against our "knowing" at a soul level?  You can't trick your spirit into happiness, not for long anyway. 

How do we then reverse this dangerous spiraling evolution?  The challenge is in having to re-condition ourselves, having to unlearn what we have learned and doing so on a conscious level.  We must go against the grain by challenging our interpretation of our inherent consciousness.  This will bring us back to a true place of "knowing" from somewhere so much deeper.  We must learn how to trust our instincts better, deciphering what is dangerous from what is not.  Although we often interpret danger as merely physical, "...don't touch that stove, it's hot!", it is much much more.  It goes deep and there is a place in each of us where we DO know the answers to what is dangerous.  How do we tap into this tightly concealed space?  We must first start listening to our soul at an individual level, and stop comparing ourselves to others around us.  We are not our neighbor, our kid's friend's parents, our sisters and cousins.  You are only you, with your own quirks, needs and desires, which can easily be misrepresented by comparing to all of the above.  It may sound like voodoo to suggest listening to your soul, but simply trusting your gut is listening to your all-knowing soul.  Don't stuff your intuition by suggesting someone else's paper degree is smarter than your soul or that it knows you better than you do.  Only you know what works for you.  When you follow the guidance of your gut, you cannot fail.  But first you must learn to decipher what is truly yours and what is conditioned.  You can achieve this by pausing in that space between the event and your reaction.  Use that time to feel rather than think.  Take more time, if you need it.  Regular meditation is an incredible way to make use of the "pause".  Meditation connects you to your soul unlike anything else you can do, but again, listen to yourself, because "meditation" is merely a word that represents "a discourse intended to express its author's reflections or to guide others in contemplation", and if for you, that means taking a walk in the forest for clarity, then do that.  Someone else might find clarity in the pause of life when they sit in a long salt bath, another might sense their peace when they do yoga, dance, swim, ride a bike or write in a journal while sipping an herbal tea.  We are all unique in what we need, as well as how we find our answers.  There is a collective consciousness in this evolution.  The power of thought by the masses contributes to collective consciousness and will fundamentally effect the outcome, globally.  Look inside, listen to you, and let's rock this evolution!!

Mirror mirror on the wall....

Why must we experience pain?  No pain, no gain, right?!  Well, in some ways, this is actually true!  How would we appreciate the absence of pain, if we haven’t been in the trenches with it at one point or another? 

We don’t learn to walk successfully until we learn how not to fall.

The bigger picture is that there is a lesson engrained in every experience, ESPECIALLY pain; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. 

The first thing a parent wants to do for their child, when they are hurting, is take away their pain.  They fall down, let’s clean up that boo-boo and put a bandaid on it.  If they are going to get hurt climbing a tree, preventing them from climbing the tree will prevent their pain, so don’t let them do it, right?  This couldn’t be further from the truth!!  We can’t and shouldn’t protect our kids from all pain.  We learn from it.  We are causing more harm then good.  We are taking away their ability to learn to gauge from experience.

What is pain anyway?  It’s a red flag.  It’s a signal from our body to do something different.  And we must learn to read these signs....I hope your gauge is functioning properly?

Let’s go deeper.  Instead of thinking about how we can remove or eliminate our pain, be it physical or emotional, what if we begin to think about why it is there in the first place?  Here is a simplistic view.  Why did I get this darn cold?  The first thought in your mind is that you are an innocent victim of someone else who was sick, right?  But did every single person who came into contact with that sick person express with a cold too?  No, they didn’t, but why?  The conditions that need to exist for an illness to take hold were not present in every single person who encountered the same sick individual.  Now let’s expand our view and think about the bigger picture....did you NEED rest?  Was your body setting you up for getting that rest?  Did you have something emotional already going on, were you deprived of sleep, do you need a break from constant long hours at work?  Are you drained from the housework that piles up faster than you can make a dent in it?  Your body knows what it needs and if you deprive yourself of fulfilling it’s needs, by ignoring the simple signs, guess what?  Yup, you are going to catch the proverbial cold.  Your emotional body pushed the symptoms to the surface as a red flag.  The most important question, did you listen?  Or did you just top it off with an OTC medicine that eliminated symptoms so you could keep going....and going?  It might be a cold this time, but if you don’t stop to listen to what your body is trying to tell you, you will be lucky if it’s a cold next time, or the time after that.

And even deeper...What about emotional lessons?  What do they look like?

Do you feel like some emotional trends exist in your life?  Something that repeats itself, over and over again?  Do you notice there are a LOT of question marks in this blog?  lol  I am really asking you to think, because there is truly only one person who knows the answers to these questions, YOU!  So back to the emotional trends.  If you feel like your life is cluttered with repeat stories over the years, it might be time to pull out the mirror and take a good look and what your lesson is.  I’m not suggesting you have done anything wrong or are even at fault, but I do think we need to pause and consider where we might have missed the memo along the way.  Something needs to change and what better place to start with change, then with yourself?  The rest will follow.  The good news is that if you address the emotional lessons as they occur, you will actually be preventing future physical ailments!  Physical expressions in health are the result of emotional trauma unaddressed. 

I have learned some very big lessons in the past several months as I have slowly unfolded my awakening wings.  It took a great big mirror and a lot of humble pie.  It also forced me to step way out of my comfort zone.  Could I have blamed someone else for all the things that “happened” to me?  Sure I could have, but the truth is that I was the only person who could change my tune.  I could go on feeling sorry for what “happened” to me or I could step up to the plate and take a swing.  And that is exactly what I am doing!!  I am swinging, and hitting home runs! 

We attract “like” frequencies, whether it be reflected in the people we surround ourselves with or our health.  We are big balls of vibrating matter, and that matter attracts what is similar to itself.  So if you are regularly thinking, “I can’t stop this awful habit of.....” (fill in the blank, whatever it is) you are resonating at THAT frequency.  If it’s an emotion like guilt, well according to the professionals, you are resonating at a very low vibration of about 30.  And there is only one emotion lower than guilt, shame is a mere 20 on this scale.  Just to give you a little comparison, joy is 540!!  Think about the difference you feel when you are about to do something that brings you joy...you feel euphoric, don’t you?  That is your vibration at that time too!  I bet you will enjoy every bit of those moments filled with joy.  Just take a moment to think about something that gives you immense joy, how do you feel? You are now vibrating at 540.  How did you get that joy, did it jump into your cart at the grocery store?  No, you CHOSE it!  You chose to feel joy about something you love to do.  Love vibrates at 500.  Another great emotion to align yourself with.  Think about that feeling you have for your children or if you don’t have children, when you first fell in love with your partner.  Great, isn’t it?  It gives you those warm and fuzzies.  And when you generate these frequencies that are higher on the scale, you will attract like-frequencies. 

Sounds a lot like homeopathy, doesn’t it?  This is exactly why homeopathy works!!  If you can’t maintain a higher vibration regularly on your own, using the RIGHT remedies will encourage you to raise your vibrations which will ultimately allow you to begin attracting higher vibration experiences/health.  Surround yourself with hope, love, joy, high vibration foods and activities and your life will change. 

Ok, so how did we get so far away from pain?  And how does pain have anything to do with high vibrations, if we are meant to learn from it?  Maybe this is when we look in the mirror and wonder....what is my frequency?  Turn that frown upside down!!  = D

If I had one thing to say to parents of children with autism, PANDAS or high needs...

Look beyond the physical, beyond the symptoms, beyond your interpretation of what is wrong to see what is right.  This child is trying to tell you something.  Your journey is about de-tangling that message.  Could it be a painful one? Maybe.  Could it be an eye-opening one? Maybe.  Could it put you on a new path? Most definitely.

Regardless of your physical journey, your spiritual journey lies somewhere in the mass of symptoms you view every day.  Where did they begin, why are they part of YOUR life? 

Perspective. 
n.noun

1. A view or vista.
2. A mental view or outlook.
3. The appearance of objects in depth as perceived by normal binocular vision.
4. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole.
a perspective of history; a need to view the problem in the proper perspective.
5. Subjective evaluation of relative significance; a point of view.
the perspective of the displaced homemaker.
6. The ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance.
tried to keep my perspective throughout the crisis.
7. The technique of representing three-dimensional objects and depth relationships on a two-dimensional surface.

I feel particularly drawn to #4.  The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole.

Our children are part of a whole.  They are part of a family, part of a community, part of a universe.  Let’s keep that in mind when we are scaling the depths of the earth to “fix” them.  They aren’t who they are without us.  And what part of us are they?  That is your journey to uncover.  But don’t forget the depth and breadth of that possibility.  Leave no stones unturned, open your heart, open your mind and most of all, open your spirit to ALL possibilities.  When we narrow our searches, we limit ourselves.  You may not find your car keys if you only look in the family room.  Silly association, I know, but it’s just as silly to single out your child as “ill” without considering the source.  When we single out one part of our family for “recovery” we are saying they are alone, they aren’t a part of us. 

They ARE interconnected with us, ALL of us.  We are just as much a part of their recovery, as the air we breath is a part of our survival.

Do you see your child “recovered”?  Or do you see your child as “sick”?  These are questions we MUST ask ourselves, because we attract what we give off.  We must see our children the way we expect to see them, as healthy, whole and unique.  Only then can our views begin to take in the big picture.  Your child is in your life for a reason.  Don’t underestimate the power of his/her purpose on this earth.

I have my children to thank for my gift of intuition.  Their mere existence gave me reason to push myself harder than anything else has ever pushed me.  Their passion for life drove me to look at my own passions.  Their challenges became my challenges.  And thankfully, their journeys intersect with mine.

Put the magnifying glass down and pick up the globe.  Look around you and take it all in.  I’m not here to tell you where to look or how to find your answers, but if you feel like something is missing in your own tale, it’s time to actively seek out that happy ending.  It’s there for the taking, all you have to do is believe in fairy tales.

Conscious parenting

When does it begin?  When do we start developing our sub- and un-conscious mind?  Many would guess this begins at birth, however, Dr. Bruce H. Lipton Ph.D a leading cellular biologist, would disagree and has gone on to prove that our cells hold memory.  If our cells hold memory which is influenced by not only our thoughts and experiences but the thoughts and experiences of those around us, it would be safe to say that this begins at conception.  After all, we are a ball of cells!

Think back to conception.  Not yours, silly, your child's.  Although, if you think about your own conception, much of who you are was developed then.  Back to the conception of your child(ren).  Where you excited or where you scared, did you receive any bad news during your pregnancy, was there financial stress, any stress?  We all have some stress and having a baby brings about SO many anticipated changes, I would guess that many of us have stressed over bringing a new life into the world.  I know I did!!  I wish I knew then, what I know now.  I would have started meditating much earlier. 

From Dr. Lipton's book "The Biology of Belief"

To quote Dr. Thomas Verny, a pioneer in the field of prenatal and perinatal psychiatry: "Findings in the peer-reviewed literature over the course of decades establish, beyond any doubt, that parents have overwhelming influence on the mental and physical attributes of the children they raise." (Verny and Kelly 1981)  And that influence starts, says Verny, not after children are born, but BEFORE children are born. 

Another pioneer in pre- and perinatal psychology, David Chamberlain writes in his book The Mind of Your Newborn Baby: "The truth is, much of what we have traditionally believed about babies is false.  They are not simple beings but complex and ageless-small creatures with unexpectedly large thoughts." (Chamberlain 1998)  These complex, small creatures have a pre-birth life in the womb that profoundly influences their long-term health and behavior.  "The quality of life in the womb, our temporary home before we were born, programs our susceptibility to coronary artery disease, stroke, diabetes, obesity and a multitude of other conditions in later life," writes Dr. Peter W. Nathanielsz in Life in the Womb: The Origin of Health and Disease.  (Nathanielssz 1999)  

The responsiveness of individuals to the environmental conditions perceived by their mothers before birth allows them to optimize their genetic and phsiologic development as they adapt to the environmental forecast.  The same life-enhancing epigenetic plasticity of human development can go awry and lead to an array of chronic diseases in older age if an individual experences adverse nutritional and environmental circumstances during fetal and neonatal periods of development.  (Bateson, et al, 2004)

The same epigenetic influences also continue after the child is born.  In particular, fascinating new research is emphasizing the importance of good parenting in the development of the brain.  "For the growing brain of a young child, the social world supplies the most important experiences influencing the expression of genes, which determines how neurons connect to one another in creating the neuronal pathways which give rise to mental activity," writes Dr. Daniel J. Siegel in The Developing Mind (Siegel 199) In other words, infants need a nurturing environment to activate the genes that develop healthy brains.  Parents, the latest science reveals, continue to act as genetic engineers even after the birth of their children.

Well crap!  I wish I read this before conception.  So what now?

Dr. Lipton tells us of new scientific discoveries about the biochemical effects of the brain's functioning showing that all the cells of our body are affected by our thoughts.  He shows us how genes and DNA do not control our biology, instead, DNA is controlled by signals from outside the cell, including energetic messages from our positive and negative thoughts.

I'm not one to dwell on the past, so it's great news to learn that we can still manage change.  I am a glass half-full kind of gal.  Moving on...

What steps can we take to change the course of old thought patterns?

The Healing Code - Dr. Lipton is a fan of The Healing Code and is quoted throughout Dr. Lloyd's book.   You will learn how to apply the Universal Healing Code which is capable of re-programing damaging thought patterns.  It only takes minutes each day and can have a profound impact on a multitude of ailments.

Meditation - There is nothing easier than changing a grumpy mood with a few minutes of meditation! Other than maybe winning the lottery. (wink)  Just fifteen minutes a day can change your life.  I find meditation to be the single most effective tool in our energy shifting toolbox at home.

Meditation taps into four different brainwaves: Beta, Alpha, Theta, and lastly Delta. These groups are each associated with specific states of your mind.

Beta Wave: Your current brain wave stage, where your conscious mind is awake and alert.  
Alpha Wave: The beginning stages of meditation. Your brain is relaxed at this state, this is where all fears vanish and creativity flourishes.  
Theta Wave: At this stage you are in a dream like state of mind where inspiration can occur. It’s also known to give you a sensation of “floating.”  
Delta Wave: The Delta brain wave is the slowest activity of all waves. Achieved by the most experienced meditators. They experience a dreamless sleep.

A simple article in The Huffington Post says it well

Studies show that meditation is associated with improvement in a variety of psychological areas, including stress, anxiety, addiction, depression, eating disorders and cognitive function, among others. There's also research to suggest that meditation can reduce blood pressure, pain response, stress hormone levels and even cellular health. But what does it actually do to the body?
For one thing, it changes our brain. The cells and neurons in the brain are constantly making new connections and disrupting old ones based on response to stimuli, a quality that researchers call experience-based neuroplasticity. This affects the neural circuits of the brain, which in turn affects how we respond to situations. It also affects the actual structure of our brains -- thickening some areas and making others less dense. 

"Think of the end of a neuron as a hand, with thousands of 'fingers,'" said Dr. Sara Lazar, a neuroscientist at Massachusetts General Hospital who studies mindfulness meditation. "The number of fingers relates to the number of interconnections between neurons and that number can change -- one reason it can change is due to stress."

If meditation is new to you, or it just doesn't come as second nature, there are many methods of practice you can try.  There are guided meditation CDs which really help you tune out the chatter, there are classes where you can learn in person or you can just continue to practice adding a little time to each meditation session you experience. The internet can be your best friend on these topics!

To teach young children about mindful breathing techniques and meditation, I love the MindUP! curriculum which even teaches them where in the brain we are effecting by practicing mindful breathing.

Frequency/vibrational healing - It comes in all shapes and sizes from homeopathic medicine to psychic readings.  There is likely to be at least one modality that will work for you.  Each one of these methods can require it's own library, so to save on time I will just provide you with a list of the more common methods worth looking into.  If you find that you resonate with any one of these, take that cue as a sign to educate yourself about it, or better yet, make an appointment with a practitioner!

Homeopathy
Reiki
Qigong
Chakra balancing
EFT
Body Talk
Quantum Touch
Polarity Therapy
Radionics
Biofeedback
Pranic Healing
Acupressure
Acupuncture

When all else fails, get moving - Yoga, Qigong, cardio, weights, a bike ride, swimming, whatever floats your boat, just get moving.  It will give you a serotonin boost while taking your mind off of everything else. 

Get inspired!!  There is no time like the present to start a new pattern and since children learn best from modelling, what better way to teach your kids how to manage their emotions than to do it WITH them?!  Change starts with YOU!